‚ÄčRelationship Resources

Recommended Books
 
In addition to counseling sessions and the readings above, I do recommend reading the following three books together.   

1. Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work - John Gottman.   Even though Gottman does not value empathy as central to the marriage in the way I do, and in the way I think Christian thinking does, it is still an excellent resource.  It has exercises to assist each couple determine whether they are open to each other or engaging in behaviors which inhibit communication and closeness.

 2. Love and Respect - Emmerson Eggerichs.  This is another excellent resource.  Its weakness is the misunderstanding of the role of  love and respect in marriage.  Eggerichs has a narrow veiw of love and respect.  The reason men are told to love and women are told to respect is because the Apostle Paul is speaking to the specific weakness of each gender.  It is not that men need more respect than women and women need more love than men.  The truth is, men tend to abdicate responsibility and be passive about what happens in the relationships.  So men are urged to take an active role of love and nurture their wives.  Women tend to usurp, and run over their men and push too hard.  As a result, Paul urges them to respect their man instead.  Both are called to mutual submission (Ephesians 5:21).  In spite of this difference, this too is an excellent resource to engergize relationships and reduce conflict. 


3. Love Must Be Tough - James Dobson.  This is an excellent resource to assist couples to establish proper boundaries and expectations.